Hi I haven't been posting for a really long time. I would like to begin by something that disturbed me. Someone visited my blog for over 10 times, and when I tried to click the website that the person originated from, it was, well, pornography. Being a morally upright person I quickly closed the window. This type of thing has occurred for more than once, and I would like to say that it is really disturbing. Okay this is meaningless ranting just forget whatever you have read and carry on.
I actually had a lot of things that I wanted to say but I forgot them all. Okay, let's start with the NAPFA. I CAN'T BELIEVE I PASSED MY NAPFA!!! Passing napfa would not be a problem for me, if not for the standing board jump. I failed it last year. Yes, all those sports inclined person, you may be laughing at me right now. I would just like to say that I'm not a very sporty person. In fact, I suck at sports. Therefore, I'm very happy that I passed my SBJ, and my last minute practice one week prior to the test has been proved effective. What's making me happier is that when I jumped, my classmates in my group are all there supporting me, cheering and jiayou-ing for me. They also clapped for me after I managed to pass. They are the people who can jump 160+ cm, yet they did not laugh at me. In fact, they acknowledged that it is an improvement personally for me and they cheered for me. I was really happy. Thank you, to all the ppl there supporting me!
And then there is the 2.4 today, which I would call it really unlucky. We were supposed to find a partner to record down our timings, as the other run. So I paired up with Jia Yan and she went first. When she went the weather was fine, mild sunlight that is obscured by the clouds. When it's my turn, the first few rounds were alright, but after the third round or so, the clouds suddenly cleared, leaving us with a baking hot sun, and I have to finish my last few rounds in agony.
I had this agreement with Jia Yan, that if she managed to run the six rounds without a break, I will treat her a drink. If I managed to run the first four rounds without a break, I deserve a treat too (don't deem this as unfair, as I said before, I really suck as sports)
So, I gritted my teeth and with really really strong will and determination I managed my four rounds without stopping, despite the growing temptation since round 3. At round 5, I only had half of my life left. Relieved of being able to complete the challenge, I walked for a distance.
At the end of round 5, I had only one thought in mind: The last round! And it was perfectly disrupted when Jia Yan shouted to me: "After this round, it's the final round already."
"Wait what are you sure the final round is AFTER this round?"
"Yeah after this round it will be the final round..."
WTH? Isn't it the last round? I'm confused, and at the same time depressed, because it means:
1. I actually didn't complete my challenge, because I only ran 3 rounds without stopping (?)
2. I'm going to fail, because I already took up like around 14 minutes
3. I have to run two more rounds!
Feeling utterly depressed, I slowed down and started to rest, because after chionging the 4 rounds I could feel that my depth of breath was narrowed and there was pain radiating from the lower part of my right lung. I walked for quite a lot of distance, before I ran past the starting/finishing point and started to chiong for my last round. As I dashed around 50m forward, I heard people calling me. I turned. My classmates were running towards me, asking me to stop. Jia Yan was also among them, and she apologized profusely
I was baffled. Well, it turned out that I have finished my race. My counting is correct.
Time to blame Jia Yan.
Jia Yan was very very apologetic. I wasn't very angry, because at least I reached my own requirement of passing, and I completed the challenge, and I don't have to run anymore.
According to Jia Yan, she didn't finish her sentence. What she meant was something like "After this round, it's the final round already, this is the final round." Hmm how does that make sense... but as what she told me, she don't know what she's talking about either and she didn't phrase her sentence properly. Okay nm. She also said that if I continued my pace, my timing would be somewhere around 15 sth. That's kinda what I calculated too, but I know very well that I cannot sustain the pace. However, if I do know it's the last round, I might have walked less and just end it quickly.
But, all is over now. There is actually no point thinking of alternate endings, because it's near to impossible that we can predict the alternate endings.
Anyway, I'm still happy of my napfa this year in overall. For me, this was sth like challenging my own limits, and my limits for sports is way much harder to tackle than my limits of the academic side.
Therefore, I start to hold this belief, that since I managed to pass my napfa and ran under 17 min for 2.4, I have the ability to achieve much more in other areas, if I put in enough effort and determination.
Okay that's cliché Pokemon is really fun was playing it all day long shouldn't play anymore the end.
Tuesday, 21 May 2013
Wednesday, 24 April 2013
Farewell Japanese
After days of intense internal conflict and self struggle I finally make up my mind to quit Jap. Nah just kidding. It was kind of decided a long time ago. Since the time when I was in Sec 2 I think I have made up my mind to quit before the Jap O levels. Just that I did not expect myself to quit so soon, even before the preparation of the O levels.
I have been struggling with Jap all along. The decision of studying Jap was made on that fateful day--the day when we go for DSA. There is a selection test for AEP. To go or not to go? I brought my materials with me, but thinking that art is time and energy consuming, and my love for the Japanese language was quite strong at that point, and I only have a choice between the two, and I was secretly afraid that I may not be selected, I chose to forgo the chance. It may have made a profound impact on my life, for if I ever get chosen I will get into a different class, the people whom I know will be very different, I may have a completely different life in NY and even affecting my subject combinations, my results and therefore my class for sec 3 and 4, and all the awesome teachers that I have now (not saying that other teachers are not awesome but hehehe, my teachers are still more awesome).
There starts my journey of Japanese study. In sec 1, I was actually having a head start because I learnt a tiny bit of Jap in primary school for my exchange programme (and it was awesome btw, inspired me to continue the study of the language). However, somehow after a few months I started to lag behind the rest. All the vocabs and stuff are coming in and I guess I did not put in enough effort. In sec 2, I was still considered average (?) as there is a bunch of smart people who are like the gods of Japanese and another bunch of people who are learning for the interest and did not put in a lot of hard work. I was somewhere in between.
As time passed by, more and more of those who learn for fun starts quitting. Some more, I was placed at the second class for Japanese, separated from all my friends. I guess the difference is quit small between my mark and that line for the first class, for my mark is around the same as my other friend who got into that class. As a result, I became the top few of my class and my friend fell to the bottom of her class.
Sec 3 is a horrendous year in terms of school work. Everyone was struggling with their workload and I started to put Jap into the lowest of the homework hierarchy. As a result of that my grades started to drop too, but I didn't really care and insisted to study a few days before the CAs, where #panick mode attack.
In sec 4, all of those who are not seriously studying have more or less quitted. What is left are the gods and, us. Jap lessons became a thing for fun for me. At first I still have a slight gleam of hope that I may somehow miraculously improve in jap if I put in enough hard work. But as you know, language is a thing that need to be consistent, with the level of hard work I've put in, I do not think that I will ever catch up with the rest. In the end, I gave up. Jap lessons became a platform for me to talk and connect with my sec 2 friends. After my friend (the friend that was separated from me in sec 3) expressed her intention to quit too, I made up my mind to quit before the second CA.
The mass pwning during the block test period accelerated this process. I realised that anymore Jap lessons will be a complete waste of time for me. If the seed for thought of quitting starts to germinate, you won't really want to attend any more lessons. Therefore, on Monday 22 April 2013, I brought along my nyaa booklet for sensei to sign, and took a copy of withdrawal form from the GO. We even did a mentos+coke experiment to commemorate the last lesson with a bang, but it failed. Anyway that will be another story. (And the coke with mentos dissolved looks absolutely disgusting, can't believe I actually drank it)
So anyway, I quitted Jap. Still, I appreciated the four years of Jap lesson. Although I did not have a competent grasp of the language, I still managed to learn something. I could appreciate the culture and have a better knowledge of the fabric of the language. I could not have read Japanese newspaper, but I can pick up words and grammar patterns here and there. At least the paper would not be like a congested mess of alien symbols for me. The wonder of learning a language is that you can find meanings between the combinations of symbols, that you once thought could not have carried any significance. I'm glad that I realised that.
Farewell, Jap. I hope that what I have learnt will not have to be returned.
I have been struggling with Jap all along. The decision of studying Jap was made on that fateful day--the day when we go for DSA. There is a selection test for AEP. To go or not to go? I brought my materials with me, but thinking that art is time and energy consuming, and my love for the Japanese language was quite strong at that point, and I only have a choice between the two, and I was secretly afraid that I may not be selected, I chose to forgo the chance. It may have made a profound impact on my life, for if I ever get chosen I will get into a different class, the people whom I know will be very different, I may have a completely different life in NY and even affecting my subject combinations, my results and therefore my class for sec 3 and 4, and all the awesome teachers that I have now (not saying that other teachers are not awesome but hehehe, my teachers are still more awesome).
There starts my journey of Japanese study. In sec 1, I was actually having a head start because I learnt a tiny bit of Jap in primary school for my exchange programme (and it was awesome btw, inspired me to continue the study of the language). However, somehow after a few months I started to lag behind the rest. All the vocabs and stuff are coming in and I guess I did not put in enough effort. In sec 2, I was still considered average (?) as there is a bunch of smart people who are like the gods of Japanese and another bunch of people who are learning for the interest and did not put in a lot of hard work. I was somewhere in between.
As time passed by, more and more of those who learn for fun starts quitting. Some more, I was placed at the second class for Japanese, separated from all my friends. I guess the difference is quit small between my mark and that line for the first class, for my mark is around the same as my other friend who got into that class. As a result, I became the top few of my class and my friend fell to the bottom of her class.
Sec 3 is a horrendous year in terms of school work. Everyone was struggling with their workload and I started to put Jap into the lowest of the homework hierarchy. As a result of that my grades started to drop too, but I didn't really care and insisted to study a few days before the CAs, where #panick mode attack.
In sec 4, all of those who are not seriously studying have more or less quitted. What is left are the gods and, us. Jap lessons became a thing for fun for me. At first I still have a slight gleam of hope that I may somehow miraculously improve in jap if I put in enough hard work. But as you know, language is a thing that need to be consistent, with the level of hard work I've put in, I do not think that I will ever catch up with the rest. In the end, I gave up. Jap lessons became a platform for me to talk and connect with my sec 2 friends. After my friend (the friend that was separated from me in sec 3) expressed her intention to quit too, I made up my mind to quit before the second CA.
The mass pwning during the block test period accelerated this process. I realised that anymore Jap lessons will be a complete waste of time for me. If the seed for thought of quitting starts to germinate, you won't really want to attend any more lessons. Therefore, on Monday 22 April 2013, I brought along my nyaa booklet for sensei to sign, and took a copy of withdrawal form from the GO. We even did a mentos+coke experiment to commemorate the last lesson with a bang, but it failed. Anyway that will be another story. (And the coke with mentos dissolved looks absolutely disgusting, can't believe I actually drank it)
So anyway, I quitted Jap. Still, I appreciated the four years of Jap lesson. Although I did not have a competent grasp of the language, I still managed to learn something. I could appreciate the culture and have a better knowledge of the fabric of the language. I could not have read Japanese newspaper, but I can pick up words and grammar patterns here and there. At least the paper would not be like a congested mess of alien symbols for me. The wonder of learning a language is that you can find meanings between the combinations of symbols, that you once thought could not have carried any significance. I'm glad that I realised that.
Farewell, Jap. I hope that what I have learnt will not have to be returned.
Sunday, 31 March 2013
April Fools, Block Test and Obsession with Les Miserables
Ah how I love and hate Monday. Well for one thing it's april fools, my last april fool in ny. For another, it's the start of the block test. Oh whyyyyyy how I wish everything is merely a joke! Had been mugging physics for the past two days, not sure if I started too late since it's the first time that I make detailed notes, for physics. For the past three years too little attention has been given to this wonderful subject from me, so I shall begin taking it more seriously, since I'm already certain that I'll take physics in JC. My grades for the subject has always been, not good nor bad. Neither has it impressed nor depressed me (except for EOY last yr but it's all a different story).
And for LA, I'm not going to care much about it. What I do have no effect on my grades whatsoever, no matter how much or how little I cared for it, it's always been that bad.
Dropping the subject on BT, I'm now in a crazy obsession over les miserables. I have been listening to the tracks again and again, even more than classical music. Shall share a few here.
Or if you don't have a lot of time, here are what I think the best(and more popular)
And for LA, I'm not going to care much about it. What I do have no effect on my grades whatsoever, no matter how much or how little I cared for it, it's always been that bad.
Dropping the subject on BT, I'm now in a crazy obsession over les miserables. I have been listening to the tracks again and again, even more than classical music. Shall share a few here.
Sorry that the sequence is little messed up. Some of them are not really popular but I really like them so I put them down :)
Saturday, 16 March 2013
LSC and march holidays
I just came back from graces camp. During the camp, there had been times of happiness, but somehow I always feel a bit sad when it comes to these times. I laughed and smiled a lot, yet feeling a slight blueness. The memories of time spent in nygh rushed through my mind, and I suddenly realised that I'm already sec 4. And then I realised that I'm about to graduate soon, and this lifeskill camp is going to be the last one I ever will have. I was reading the posts on nygh confessions where sec 1s, 2s and 3s are happily commenting on their LSCs, and made me think: wow, somehow I've already been through 3 LSCs!
I think it always occurs to me, that I'll tend to feel sad in times of extreme happiness.
Never mind, I'm being overly emotional. I'll now talk about a happy thing. I managed to re-contact AYL!!! Ah, it's that feeling when you get to talk to your long lost friend. She still remains my best friend. I feel that she the person who can understand me, having the most similar thinking as me. It's like two jig saw puzzle pieces, fitting perfectly. I really wish we can spend some time together and talk about our experiences since we parted. I realise that relationships will get diluted with time. I really hope that we will still be able to maintain our friendship, and share things we love.
This LSC is also slightly different for me compared to others. It is more special, in the sense that I can observe a person in greater detail. This year may be a tough year for the person, I wish the person all the best, and remember: what doesn't kill you make you stronger :)
I don't know if the person will be able to see this. Most likely not. Still, I would like to offer my wishes, in you having a good life ahead, enjoy your life and live it to the fullest. A poem dedicated to you:
我是天空里的一片云，
偶尔投影在你的波心——
你不必讶异，
更无须欢喜——
在转瞬间消灭了踪影。
你我相逢在黑夜的海上，
你有你的，我有我的，方向；
你记得也好，
最好你忘掉，
在这交会时互放的光亮！
Sunday, 10 March 2013
Smashed comp
My comp is crashed, literally.
7 March 2013 marks the death of my computer, my awesome acer laptop. Cause of death: being smashed by a hammer. Cause of cause of death: my mom.
Yup my mom smashed my comp with a hammer. It's not exactly my comp, since she also has an admin account on that comp. In fact, it isn't even my comp because I'm just a standard account.
However, since she never really use it and I use it all the time and it's forever stationed in my room, I guess it can be called "my comp".
Anyway, the thing started out like this:
Some days before, I was given the privilege to get into the admin account because I can't download the software with just a standard account. (need admin password). You really have no idea how irritating the guest account thing is. You can't download anything and upgrade any plug-ins or software. You also cannot fix problems because you don't have the "admin rights". Some more I was restricted by the stupid windows parental control. I can't log in before or after my allocated time slots. Sometimes when I'm using halfway, the comp will just auto log-off because the time is up. Sometimes the thing can really get onto my nerves. Imagine you are writing your essay halfway and bam, the comp auto log off. You didn't even save your work. And when you ask your parents to log into their account to extend the time they will give a stingy 1 hour extension, when 15 min has already passed to extend the thing and switch back the account. I get really tensed up and pressurized whenever my time is going to be up. I totally hate that feeling. Therefore after under the tyrant rule of the parental control for such long I can finally change my fate and be free, so I went to change my account type to be admin and disabled all the parental control.
Well this kind of thing has happened before and my parents always dismissed them as a form of joke/ sth not very serious. So this time after my mom found out she went to change back the parental control with me sitting at the side watching everything happen. Well of course I can't just sit there and watch this happen so I tried to grab the mouse and change my account type back to admin.
For no reason my mom suddenly became very angry and she said you can't live like this anymore!! (For the previous 4 days I've been sleeping quite late because I'm chionging my chem olympiad presentation and my mom thought that I slept so late mainly because I was wandering in the internet well I can't disagree completely that they took some time but I used the comp mainly for chionging the presentation and not random stuff) I continued to try to "fight" with her. Suddenly she said that if I'm going to continue she'll go and smash the comp.
Given that my parents are quite, well how shall I put it, the save money type I believe that she won't do sth that stupid so I challenged her to smash it.
So, the tragedy happened.
Now I'm using my mom's comp, with the wifi spoiled, connected using LAN cable and thus only been able to go internet on the sofa. I still have to chiong my six page IH reflection T.T How am I going to chiong it now without the wifi? My IH SIA report is still stored in the smashed comp...
Anyway thanks to the IH reflection I have a chance to use this comp and connect to internet. After a while I'll have to go offline. *sad life* I really don't understand what's wrong with my parents.
Anyway, RIP comp.
7 March 2013 marks the death of my computer, my awesome acer laptop. Cause of death: being smashed by a hammer. Cause of cause of death: my mom.
Yup my mom smashed my comp with a hammer. It's not exactly my comp, since she also has an admin account on that comp. In fact, it isn't even my comp because I'm just a standard account.
However, since she never really use it and I use it all the time and it's forever stationed in my room, I guess it can be called "my comp".
Anyway, the thing started out like this:
Some days before, I was given the privilege to get into the admin account because I can't download the software with just a standard account. (need admin password). You really have no idea how irritating the guest account thing is. You can't download anything and upgrade any plug-ins or software. You also cannot fix problems because you don't have the "admin rights". Some more I was restricted by the stupid windows parental control. I can't log in before or after my allocated time slots. Sometimes when I'm using halfway, the comp will just auto log-off because the time is up. Sometimes the thing can really get onto my nerves. Imagine you are writing your essay halfway and bam, the comp auto log off. You didn't even save your work. And when you ask your parents to log into their account to extend the time they will give a stingy 1 hour extension, when 15 min has already passed to extend the thing and switch back the account. I get really tensed up and pressurized whenever my time is going to be up. I totally hate that feeling. Therefore after under the tyrant rule of the parental control for such long I can finally change my fate and be free, so I went to change my account type to be admin and disabled all the parental control.
Well this kind of thing has happened before and my parents always dismissed them as a form of joke/ sth not very serious. So this time after my mom found out she went to change back the parental control with me sitting at the side watching everything happen. Well of course I can't just sit there and watch this happen so I tried to grab the mouse and change my account type back to admin.
For no reason my mom suddenly became very angry and she said you can't live like this anymore!! (For the previous 4 days I've been sleeping quite late because I'm chionging my chem olympiad presentation and my mom thought that I slept so late mainly because I was wandering in the internet well I can't disagree completely that they took some time but I used the comp mainly for chionging the presentation and not random stuff) I continued to try to "fight" with her. Suddenly she said that if I'm going to continue she'll go and smash the comp.
Given that my parents are quite, well how shall I put it, the save money type I believe that she won't do sth that stupid so I challenged her to smash it.
So, the tragedy happened.
Now I'm using my mom's comp, with the wifi spoiled, connected using LAN cable and thus only been able to go internet on the sofa. I still have to chiong my six page IH reflection T.T How am I going to chiong it now without the wifi? My IH SIA report is still stored in the smashed comp...
Anyway thanks to the IH reflection I have a chance to use this comp and connect to internet. After a while I'll have to go offline. *sad life* I really don't understand what's wrong with my parents.
Anyway, RIP comp.
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