My problems

So this post is going to be about my problems. Not a rant post. Just, today I have been feeling somewhat frustrated and irritable so I thought I may have some problems, but I can't think of any problems as my life is supposedly good. So here's my first problem, I don't know what's my problem. Therefore to solve that problem, this post is wrote to list out all my potential problems.

1. I realised the name of my blog is incredibly gay. Smiley rainbow? That sounds like the name made up by a 9 year old girl doodling rainbows and unicorns. To be fair I did create this blog when I was 11 so...moving on

2. I can't think of a good introduction for my blog posts

3. I'm starting to get meta, let's exit out of there

4. Here's my first serious big problem: I have problems interacting with people. Sometimes I am bold, I can initiate conversations, talk to strangers, be all confident about myself. Sometimes I can only reclude to a corner, watching the rest having a conversation and trying to think of the appropriate response to show that I'm listening. The fact that I'm bad at interpreting what others are saying when I can't hear them well does not help. Often at these times I will be very careful of my words and actions, which makes me unconfident, which makes me look awkward.

5. I'm wasting time. There could have been so many things I can do right now to spend my time productively, yet none of them seem interesting to me. Well they would appear very interesting if I'm doing work in JC. But I would be thinking to myself, too bad I have so many tasks on hand I can't do those. Now I have the time and the freedom, I'm not interested in doing them anymore. Makes me wonder if I'm interested in those things in the first place.

6. I'm losing my friends, slowly, due to prolonged lack of interaction. I don't know what everyone's doing now. Despite all the freedom we have, we talk to each other less, whether on social media or in real life. The guys are all in army and I do not dare to disturb them. The girls? I don't talk to the girls for no reason, I guess. I don't know how they always make the conversations (on whatsapp) look full of energy, by the abundant use of filler words like haha, hahaha, hahahahaha. Without using these words it make me look so cold. But I'm emotionally tied to the words I use, and constantly using these supposedly filler words is a pain.

7. Erm so I'm stuck in a state where I feel lonely but when people talk to me I don't feel like replying?

8. Bad dreams. I'm put in an unsettling state because of having to handle all the scholarship applications and interviews.

9. Bad Internet And Lags Really GET ON MY NERVES

10. Yeah ok I have short attention span. I started this post before dinner. Now it's after dinner. I don't feel like writing anymore.