Are you ready for a fun intellectually stimulating trip aka food for the bored brain

Let's begin by looking at some darn good philosoraptor memes, starting with the paradoxes:

 

And that's why there are definitely absolutes.

I seriously don't know this one.

So sometimes talking to strangers is necessary. Don't be so anti social dude.

Interesting paradox here...if time gets frozen, then notion of time will not exist until it's reactivated. 

This is like the pinocchio paradox.

Now, some really wise words from the philosoraptor:

 

Sometimes, too many choices will lead us to the wrong decision.

How true, so live the life the way you want it.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like bananas.

Exactly, so absolute knowledge corrupts. It thus suggests that most knowledge may not be absolute.

And now, the biggest unanswered questions of all times:

The question whether there is free will has been bothering philosophers since the birth of philosophy. And we'll never know.

Another big question on perception. I can never creep into your conscious and experience what you experience. Vsauce has a very good video on this:

And lastly a teaser:

Politics, it gets nothing done.

The above philosoraptor memes can all be found at http://www.geekosystem.com/50-best-philosoraptors/ which kindly compiles good philosoraptor memes for us


There are just so many good old interesting paradoxes and thought experiments there I can't possibly list all of them. I shall just list some paradoxes that I find rather interesting.

First, let's start with science paradoxes. I've read a book titled "paradox" by the author Jim Al-Khalili and it's very mind stimulating. In it are "9 greatest enigmas of science". To keep you waiting no longer, they are

1. Zeno's paradox - The paradox of infinity; it's known that there are infinitely small steps to completing something yet we still complete it somehow.

2. Olber's paradox - Why is the night sky dark, since you will certainly hit a star (source of light) somewhere in whatever direction you point to.

3. Maxwell's demon - It appears by simply knowing information you can violate the second law of thermodynamics.

4. Grandfather's paradox - How can you go back in time and kill your grandfather if that will deny your existence and hence your action of killing him?

5. Pole-barn paradox - It appears by theory of relativity, when you hold a pole the same size as a barn and run through it at speed closing to light, the size of the two doesn't agree on each other from different frames of reference.

6. Twin's paradox - Another paradox generated by relativity. If all motions are relative, then why only does one of the twins on earth age while the other travelling in spaceship doesn't?

7. Schrodinger's cat - Why doesn't quantum weirdness apply to the macroscopic world?

8. Laplace's demon - Is our universe deterministic?

9. Fermi's paradox - Are there extraterrestrial life out there? Why would they not make contacts with us if the possibility of their existence is high?

(Note: I read the book quite a long time ago so I may get some parts wrong)

I can't explain each in detail or I'm never going to finish this blog post. Each of them is very interesting and the author also proposed very sensible yet counter-intuitive solutions. Some of the science paradoxes here are very philosophical if considered from a different perspective. Great book, I'll say.


Okay and now some great philosophical paradoxes.

Ship of theseus: A paradox on identity. I made a blog post about it some time ago - http://rainbowishsmiley.blogspot.sg/2013/11/how-do-you-define-person.html

Irresistible force paradox: What would happen if an unstoppable force hit an immovable object?

Omnipotence paradox(similar to the above): Can an omnipotent being create a rock too heavy for itself to lift?

Sorry for the lack of philosophical paradoxes here. Maybe I should put in some famous thought experiments to make up for it. I just saw a very good website and I think it's better for you to look at it than me reposting everything here because the information is succinct and organised enough.

http://io9.com/9-philosophical-thought-experiments-that-will-keep-you-1340952809


Interesting mathematical paradoxes (not really paradoxes, just counter-intuitive)

Potato paradox (yay potato): If you have a 100 pound worth of potatoes which consists of 99% water by weight and you allow them to dehydrate until they have 98% of water, their weight becomes 50 pounds.

Sum of all the natural integers till infinity = -1/12
(Numberphile video here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-I6XTVZXww)

The monty hall problem: you are in a game show and you are to choose a door out of the three in which one contains a car an the other two, goats. After you make your decision the game host offer you an opportunity to change your choice. Changing your choice will always make your probability of winning larger.

Birthday paradox: The least number of people in a room for the chance of two people in room having the same birthday to be bigger than 50% is 23.


I have to be honest, I cheated a bit by wikipedia and googling most of these paradoxes, just to ensure accuracy in my description.

Of course there's so many things unexplored here. Like there's a thought experiment I wanted to post before I write this but I forget it now. This is such a long post but I hope you have fun reading and getting intellectually stimulated.

Oh yes now I remember the question. If the total entropy of a closed system increase with time, and in absolute zero entropy is zero, then will time stop when it reaches absolute zero?

Okay bye.

My Life

Okay so this is officially the post for describing my life's current state.

I'm now entering Junior College, fortunately and unfortunately being placed in two special programmes, SMTP and KI.

Fortunate because I can finally learn about the things I love, no more torture from GP and the humanities. With SMTP I'm presented with so many opportunities I've never dreamed of. I can finally stretch myself to the best of my abilities. With KI I'll be able to look at issues at such a deep level, I can finally think and talk about deep stuff legitly, without that looks from my friends. I'll also be a much wiser person who can observe the world in entirely different perspectives.

Unfortunate because I think I'm the only girl in the entire school to be in both SMTP and KI. Hopefully after the JAE students join in, I won't be the only one anymore. Both KI and SMTP requires interest, time, energy and intellectual aptitude. I know that I won't have much free time of my own anymore.

Actually I doubt whether I have the aptitude even though I passed their selection tests (not really for SMTP, was direct admissioned and screwed the selection tests badly). There are people I know who are way more qualified for SMTP or KI that didn't take them due to practical concerns. What makes me think I can manage well? Hopefully, I can gain confidence along the way. Since the selections say I'm qualified, I'll trust them. Who will put trust in you if you don't even trust yourself?

Although I pretty much will sacrifice my personal time and minecraft for the next two years, I think the result will be highly rewarding. What I gained from the next two years will stay with me for life. They will make me a better person than whom I am now. I can't wait to start learning and being lead to a new, exciting world.

My general plan for my life:

- Get scholarship to study Chemistry in UK
- Study Chemistry in Cambridge
- Finish graduate studies and maybe post-graduate studies
- Do research in a University that I like
- Do research for the rest of my life

Meanwhile:
- Learn piano and music theories so that I can appreciate music pieces which I like. It is also to balance my brain.
- Make friends whom I respect and feel comfortable with because we have similar personalities.
- Read many interesting books to enrich myself
- Learn how to ride a bike and how to swim. Sometimes learning a skill can save lives.

Things I want to do but may not do:
- Learn Latin
- Take drawing as a recreational activity
- Produce short animations. I think animation is the most accurate way to narrate things going in my mind.
- Learn coding and programming

Appreciating strangeness

I think I have been constantly trying to figure out the way I do things, the way my brain work, the way I understand, think and feel etc. etc. But I know a complete understanding of self is impossible. Most people manage to live decent lives without fully understanding themselves anyway.

I just feel that I'm weird peculiar in some ways. It seems that my thoughts are completely random. But they are interesting as well.

For example, on atoms. I have started reading a book "Quantum" by Jim Al Khalili, the author who also wrote the book "Paradox" which I enjoyed reading. In it, he described the double slit experiment, and stated as though quantum particles have "thinking of their own". Then I thought, why not? Imagine what we think as simply fundamental building blocks of nature really have conscious of their own. Consciousness is a very abstract concept and no one knows what it is. Who knows, maybe quantum particles really have consciousness! So each of them purposely act in a certain way to form the universe today.

As crazy as the previous idea, I had another wild idea a long time ago. That time, I hardly know anything about quantum physics. I was still taught that atoms are the fundamental building blocks of nature. I also know, at that time, that the universe is very, very big and humans are still trying to figure out if universe is infinite or finite and what form will it take. My wild idea is that perhaps the smallest are the biggest, that is, each atom contains an entire universe by it's own, which is then made of atoms, universes, atoms, universes, so on. Pretty cool, but quite possibly wrong, since now I know a lot more about quantum mechanics. Still, it is amazing how I could come up with such mind blowing ideas at a young age.

I appreciate weirdness because truth usually lie in unconventional places. Even if the weirdness has nothing to do with truth, like cyriak's videos, I still feel that queerness is something worth celebrated for. It produces diversity because it goes against the conventional flow. It prevents the situation described in "A Wrinkle In Time", where all people are subjected to a fixed life. Strangeness is only relative to conventions. It is a very subjective thing and is purely labeled by the majority. Therefore, being strange is actually being individualistic and being yourself. If strangeness does not exist, I would say freedom will not exist too.

I'm supposed to write about my life but I think I totally went off topic O.O Never mind I'll write about it in my next post.

Getting to understand myself better...

...through tests.

Yes, I have taken another test, which is also related to the MBTI model but slightly different. It's called socionics and to be honest I don't know what it's about at all. I'm tested as LII-INTj but note that INTJ in socionics is different from INTJ in MBTI.

Below is the description from the website, I think it's quite accurate:

Description of The LII

Ego block

Introverted Logic (Ti, )

LIIs are adept at organizing their understanding into structured thought. They may organize their cogitations into categories, diagrams, formulaic descriptions, or complex step by step explanations. LIIs may have an uncanny knack for understanding, constructing, and deconstructing the abstract and delicate internal workings of abstract systems like computers, natural phenomena, gadgets, abstract concepts, mathematical equations, and anything that captures their interest. They may be extremely precise in their understanding and can tend strive for highly detailed realizations. They can be skilled at synthesizing new information and incorporating into their established categories. They are often attracted to fields like mathematics, physics, chemistry, or other areas of study that deal with highly structured information systems.

LIIs are often highly attuned to the premises of logical consistency and adherence to predefined principles. They may use such unifying principles as a basis off of which to make normative or philosophical judgments and often seek to communicate these ideas to others. LIIs can be difficult for others to understand because they tend to avoid explaining the intermediate steps in their reasoning, seeing only the conclusion as important.

LIIs are, in the colloquial sense, highly rational creatures and may pride themselves on so being. They may live highly structured or regimented lifestyles and can be quite proactive.

Extroverted Intuition (Ne, )

LIIs are greatly in tune with novel connections and the possibilities that exist which they could see their systems and analyses applied towards. They are able to see a myriad of concepts and hence strive to cover different and new fields which have not been touched by their logical analysis. They may avoid harping on one area for too long, instead preferring to expand their theoretical constructs, covering various territory through time; to restrict their logical scope would be to hinder true understanding.

LIIs' primary focus in developing new ideas is to categorize, systematize, and promote understanding about them. They may tend to see novel ideas that have no implications or relevance to a larger ideational framework as disinteresting and pointless. At the same time, LIIs are often minimally interested in real-world application of their ideas, instead preferring abstract and theoretical speculation. They often tend towards contemplative academic fields which allow for abstract speculation to be realized in concrete conclusions.

LIIs typically tolerate unusual lifestyles and they usually tolerate differing viewpoints.

Super-ego block

Introverted Ethics (Fi, )

LIIs are capable of understanding their internal feelings and affections, but they tend to place only a subdued importance on the ethical code of their experience. They may take a rather Ti-centric approach to conventional morality. They may see it as their duty to observe general propriety and etiquette, and to be just and preserve their integrity. Their attempts at being proper, good, and ethical may seem stiff, if not forced. At the same time, LIIs do not generally apply moral judgments to others and often do not like to be judged themselves. Nonetheless, LIIs do try to be just, fair, and follow the system of rules that they impose for themselves morally.

LIIs tend to not readily understand deep personal connections and may be minimally confident in having to assess the nuances or strength of their personal relationships. Such emotions may seem to them to be too subjective and too hard to analyze or understand with any degree of logical precision. They tend to keep all acquaintances at a large psychological distance whether they are strangers or family members or friends, and may not have a deep understanding of interpersonal boundaries or what psychological distance is appopriate to a given social context. LIIs typically struggle in shifting psychological distance and usually end up coming off as dry, stagnant, and formal. They may often have difficulty expressing their sympathies or compassionate side towards others, and can be characteristically blunt and unrespecting of relational boundaries. They also can experience difficulty understanding their disposition or the disposition of others towards them, especially when no obvious emotional signs are given.

Extroverted Sensing (Se, )

LIIs typically respond poorly to and have difficulty applying volitional pressure. They treat most situations in calculated, rational, and realistic fashions, and they tend to have little response for individuals who operate outside of the boundaries of applying rational criteria to the situation at hand. They often have difficulty impelling others to follow their leadership; in practice, they often work independently. LIIs in possession of a problem that can't be solved intellectually, instead requiring direct personal confrontation may resort to total avoidance; LIIs feel that such a situation would in all likelihood produce only frustration and contempt. They may wish that everyone simply listened to reason.

LIIs may see attempts to rile them up or spring them into activity as crude, intrusive, and insulting to their intelligence. They may see such pushy or forceful attempts to control them as hopelessly closed-minded and at odds with their sense of intellectual freedom. They may have difficulty adapting to impulsive or spontaneous behavior, instead preferring stable environments that encourage an accepting and warm atmosphere.

LIIs are often not cognizant of power dynamics and have little interest in who has control over a situation.

Super-id block

Extroverted Ethics (Fe, )

LIIs are usually lacking in outward emotional energy. LIIs may typically seem stiff, cold, rational, unresponsive to emotional concerns, and overly formal in social settings. LIIs may feel uneasy and insecure about their adaptability to social situations. They appreciate the interactive efforts of others to make them feel comfortable, at ease, and a part of the group. They tend to liven up in situations of amusement and conviviality. In situations where they feel comfortable and unconditionally accepted, they may drop their tendency towards aloofness and engage in uncharacteristic silliness.

LIIs may be highly sensitive to the signs of emotional approval that they receive from others. They may be highly appreciative of displays of emotional warmth and friendliness. They may find normative emotional expectations placed on them to be stifling, and tend to prefer nonjudgmental environments without character scrutiny. Additionally, for fear of emotional reprisal, LIIs often tend to be rather noncritical of others' actions.

LIIs may be quite susceptible to acting in accordance to the mood of others, and may undervalue the importance of avoiding argumentation on their mental well-being.

Introverted Sensing (Si, )

LIIs are not naturally very adept at understanding their internal physical needs and may generally neglect them,seeing them as not really worth their time. They may feel a need to present themselves as competent in dealing with their surrounding physical environment to others, and may be disheartened if directly criticized about their lack of environmental or bodily awareness. They tend to appreciate individuals who naturally direct themselves towards attending to the needs of others by force of habit and without explicit direction.

LIIs can underemphasize the importance of physical well-being and comfort on their overall mental health and functioning.

Id block

Extroverted Logic (Te, )

LIIs usually have little interest in thinking of or implementing practical applications for their ideas. They usually display little interest in how the ideas or structures they produce relate to the outside world; instead, they tend to focus primarily on furthering, building upon, and exploring the implications of their internal systems. They may also tend to have little spontaneous inclination to conceptualize situations in terms of efficiency, expenditure of resources, or pragmatic concerns; instead, they may focus more extensively on philosophical or rational principles and structured codes of living -- though many LIIs are not so austere.

Introverted Intuition (Ni, )

LIIs often have active imaginations, but usually do not invest much energy in pondering the products of their reflections or considering events of personal history. They are often not terribly concerned with considering trends or patterns/directions of historical interest

Knowledge and Inquiry

I have attended two sessions of KI so far and I find them really fun. Speaking in lectures is still very daunting, though (which is why I didn't). Below is an email that I sent to the KI teachers, which kind of summarise all the questions and concerns I have.

--------------------------------------------------------This is a line-------------------------------------------------------

Dear KI teachers,

Hello, I'm a student who have attended the previous two KI lectures. There are several time during the lecture which I have ideas but do not have the courage to speak up. This has always been a problem of mine. I cannot speak in front of a large audience or strangers or both, which explains this email. Below are some of my thoughts and questions regarding both the content of the lectures and about KI itself.

In today's lecture, we first discussed about truth. These are what I was thinking at the beginning of the lecture:

1. What is truth? 

There are two kinds of truth, one in the metaphysical sense and another in epistemological sense. For the former, it is the ultimate reality. However as we have discussed, humans have no ways to know the ultimate reality. This is covered later in the noumena and phenomena theory. Truths in human knowledge are facts (what we think are facts) that correspond with our common experience and what we feel are sensible. This kind of truth is very subjective as it is determined by humans and is prone to changes. It is also bounded by perimeters and conditions, since human perception can never be complete.

Question: However, is it certain that ultimate truth exist? Is there really an ultimate reality out there? Since we have no ways of knowing, how can we know that absolute truth exists? Are there any arguments for non-existence of absolute truths?

2. What do you understand by the term objective truth?

In the metaphysical sense, it is the ultimate reality. In human experience, objective truth are what humans feel have least of human opinions, but real objectivity is not possible. Objective truth usually have underlying assumptions that is considered by most people as being "true".  E.g. Many may say that apple is red, or the earth is round. However to a person diagnosed with colour blindness apple may not be red and earth may be only round in three dimensional space. It is also not a perfect sphere. Perfect spheres only exist in theory but not reality. Red is also just an idea in our mind. This shows that it is easy for objective truth to slip into subjective truth. Objective truth and subjective truth may not necessarily be different in nature. Adoration of cats can be considered a subjective "truth", but if the entire society like cats, as though there's a build in function in our brain to like cats, then liking cats may become an objective truth just like the apple is red. Similarly, if people see apples in all sorts of colours, apple is red can be now a subjective truth. Therefore, objectivity and subjectivity are really just determined by the number of exceptions and how common and unchanging something is in the human experience. 

Question: 

4. Why do people aspire towards objectivity? 

People tend to find objective truth more reliable. It also makes something less prone to changes and offers some level of predictability.

5. Is objectivity possible in the formation of knowledge?

Definitely not since humans come up with knowledge and humans are prone to subjectivity.

As I do not have very good knowledge of social science I did not come up with many thoughts for the discussion on social science. However, I do have some questions:

a. Is there some randomness in humans or is studying the human just too difficult because of it being a very complex system that cannot be described in simple ways?

i.e. are humans random or determined by a system of extremely complicated laws that cannot be studied? This is also linked to the big question on determinism. For example, although physics is the basic of the sciences, it will be insane to use the laws of quantum mechanics to describe an ecosystem. Nevertheless, is it possible but simply tedious? Simple laws may generate complexity as shown by the game of life. However, are humans different? Are our choices affected purely by environmental factors which can all be traced to a simple beginning with laws that govern changes, or are humans really free to make choices randomly?

b. Is social science still science since it is more about understanding than generalization and predicting? If social science is still considered science, then is the definition of science changed to "understanding" instead? Since what we think as science is also defined by humans, we can change it if we want.

I also have some questions regarding KI. I'm sorry that I asked a lot of questions. You may ignore the previous questions if you want to but please answer the following questions regarding the subject.

First, am I going to encounter problems if I cannot speak up in class for the first few weeks or months? Will there also be a large group of people in a lecture setting? Does the course prefer students who can speak up and participate more actively in class? This problem arises from my introverted nature. If I'm forced to speak, my thoughts will be disrupted and I cannot say very sensible things or express my thoughts clearly. I know I may be able to overcome this problem by saying more but if what I say is not what I intend to say then I will rather not say. Still I'm not willing to give up going for KI because of these problems. I'm really interested in the subject and fascinated by the various ideas. Is this problem going to affect me very badly?

Second, I'm also aware that my English is not proficient. My weakness is mainly lack of vocabulary and occasional slips in grammar. I know that KI requires some mastery of the language to achieve clarity and better understanding of text. Is this going to hinder my learning as well?

Third, are there more topics in KI on art than science? I have been out of touch with the humanity subjects for two years so are there going to be some difficulty understanding the topics that are not very science inclined? Do the art students tend to perform better than the science students in KI?

Fourth, is the subject very demanding and very hard to score? Is it very taxing if you are in another special programme, say SMTP, and also KI at the same time?

Lastly, I'm a bit of a slow thinker sometimes, so I may not be able to understand things completely and coming up with ideas during the lesson. Do we have to think fast if we are taking KI? I may subject an idea to vigorous evaluation before accepting it but sometimes after evaluation the process is lost in my mind. Therefore sometimes I may appear random but actually there is a reasoning behind. Is my personality suitable for KI?

The final question: Will taking KI help me to address and overcome my weaknesses mentioned above?

I'm really interested in the subject but not sure if I'm suitable to take it. I'm looking forward to your reply. Have a pleasant day ahead.

Yours Sincerely, 

Li Xin

-------------------------------This is another line and I type this because I'm bored-------------------------------

Actually there's another question I wanted to ask which is "Will studying philosophy make one more prone to insanity" but that's too inappropriate.

Saw some familiar people at KI lecture today. Why do I suddenly find the art stream students so cool now? They seem to be able to structure their conversation really well and also have a good way with people. They are also less utilitarian when choosing what they want to study. Science students are mostly nerds, but don't get the wrong idea, I'm proud of being a nerd. There's some awesomeness in studying science, especially with all the good science jokes.

Wait, but I thought all the good science jokes argon.

Summary for the long holiday

Tomorrow marks the start of JC. Here, I'm just going to briefly summarise how I wasted spent my time in this long holiday.

First, I travelled to two places--US California and Fujian province. The former is a school trip while the latter is a family trip. The school trip was very enriching and quite fun although I don't know many people. The family trip is as though I'm trapped in a delusional land, where I didn't behave like myself at all.

For the rest of my time, most were spent on minecraft/online. *guilty*  Well I did /attempt/ to enrich myself. For example, I learnt a couple of things at Khan Academy. In sequence, the new topics I have learnt are conic sections, imaginary numbers and implicit differentiation. I did up a few chapters of my condensed maths notebook. Then I discovered openMIT and watched two videos of the lesson on Introduction to computer science course. Should have watched more. What was I doing in minecraft? Building a castle. Aaaannnndd I still haven't complete it but it looks awesome. I was also building a horse stable and a horse evaluation centre. Horses are fun.

Then I also bought and borrowed lots of books. But, I haven't read most of them yet. The only book I finished is The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy which is awesome. And then I started on a few others. Okay I'm feeling very guilty now.

Also I downloaded some fantastic lectures on introduction to ethnics by a lecturer/professor in Oxford. Unfortunately I've only managed to finish listening 1.5 lessons.

For the rest of my time, I spent a few days organising my secondary school stuff, finished Chem and almost LA. The files of other subject are still in chaos. Other than organising, it will be daydreaming, going facebook and watching youtube, going quora which I recently discovered.

Actually, the majority of my time is still used for...sleeping.

After this brief summary I realise I have a lot yet to be done. Here are some things I must do before lesson officially starts:

1. For goodness sake clean my room and organise my secondary school things. Keep the unnecessary things, plan on functions of different parts of my room, remove all unnecessary/spoiled/useless things and make space for JC files.

2. Start calculus lessons on Khan Academy. Also finish the 40 videos on thermodynamics.

3. Continue computer science course at openMIT.

4. Continue lectures on ethnics. Preferably get a notebook to write down key ideas.

5. Revise for Maths, Physics and Chemistry. Especially maths and physics. I've forgotten most of the stuff.

6. Finish reading all the newspaper cuttings I've done for the year.

7. Read the library books as much as possible before they expire.

Hopefully I can finish half of what I've listed here.

updates on small matters, but small matters are important

In fact I don't really know what to write, just what's going on around this time. There's nothing deep or insightful here.

First, school is opening soon, in just two days time. I'm sure that I'm not ready for it, but I'll welcome and embrace it. I miss school. Although school has imperfections here and there, I think it is still the best place to learn. First few weeks are just orientations and trial lectures, quite slack but we have essay test on the first day T.T I think my English has deteriorated a lot in the course of this holiday. I'm just striving for fluent and grammatically correct English now. I won't go and memorise vocab for the sake of memorising vocab.

So, that's one big thing. Another big thing is that I just started learning piano. The teacher is young but very nice. First lesson is always easy, and furthermore I already know most of the basic theory stuff. This is a big contrast to the other teacher I encountered two years ago, where she taught me difficult things on the first lesson and yawn when I play. That course I had two years ago is an accelerated one. I don't count it as proper piano lesson at all.

Learning new things is always exciting. I'm very happy about these two recent happenings.

But I have a lot of worries for JC. My zodiac is a rather unlucky one for this year, but my classmates who are one year younger than me also have their zodiac signs saying they are not very lucky, so we can be unlucky together. Just kidding, I won't believe it in the first place. It's normal that life has up and downs. If I attribute all the bad things in my life to fate that will just make me feel more depressed. Instead I shall view these as trainings for myself, so that I will grow and become a better person. A positive attitude is better than any good luck bestowed upon me.

Choosing KI while in SMTP may be very exhausting but in all the ways I can think of it will be better than GP + Econ. Getting into SMTP also makes me doubt and worry. I have all the passion in the world but do I have the brain? Do I have what it takes to study maths and science? Will I be willing to sacrifice all my time, be doubly hardworking than the rest and come out having the same standard as those extremely smart ones? Yes I'm doubting myself because I don't really know my potential well. Who I am facing are a class of very intelligent people. The stress is there. However, I must have a positive attitude. Instead of being involved in this endless competition of comparison, I can learn from people. In fact I'm excited to meet my classmates as well, maybe I can make some friends who have similar personalities as me. Maybe I should stop thinking of it and start sleeping. Yeah I should sleep.

Okay bye.

Oh no I just thought of another thing I want to write down. I hosted a mini reality escape game in my room yesterday! It was fun, but sadly only two friends came because the rest were not free. Then we sang karaoke. So loud, much crazy, wow.

I wish I can post some pictures but details of the game are to remain confidential, sorry.

Okay really bye.

Feeling happy

I didn't know that waking up a bit earlier and enjoying the sunshine can be such a joyful thing. Ok I didn't exactly wake up very early, but 10 am is earlier than all my previous days when I couldn't fall asleep and end up waking at 5 sth pm in frustration. The previous days are so wasted. I want to sleep early but my screwed up body clock just don't allow me to. Anyway, today is a happy day. The day is so bright, so sunny and the wind so comforting. It feels just like a normal afternoon after school. It is as though time didn't affect me at all, as though I can play minecraft and do homework, just like an ordinary day in school time.

But I know, in minecraft and homework my secondary school days passed slowly, and they will never come back. Time, is fair, just, ruthless, emotionless. It governs the universe, it governs you. One day, your biological clock is going to stop too. You will leave, as well, and will never come back. 

Time always make me sad. But today is a happy day, so I'll talk about something else. Today, the feeling, is the most positive one I've had in this long holiday. I feel that I can embrace the whole world. Seeing sunshine just makes me happy. I can sing and dance around my house. My parents are both at work, they have been both at work since the time when I was in P3. But over the years, I begin to enjoy this solitude and freedom that they've granted me. Now I am alone in my house, nobody can see me, nobody can judge me. I do not have to care about people, I can just be myself. 

Today is a happy day. My heart is swelling of joy. How many sunny days like this have I missed? How many times when I was so frustrated by projects and school, I hardly noticed my surroundings? How many times do I find the crow that landed by my window annoying, instead of appreciating the beauty of the bird? How much time have I wasted in boredom, in games, in matter that doesn't concern me at all? 

Time is like a river. If you pour dirt in, the you in downstream will get dirty water. If you pour lemon and sugar, you are going to get lemonade, which is awesome.

There are the good, the bad and the ugly things in the world. What you see is by your own filter. What you do depends on what you see. Who you are depend on what you do. Therefore, selecting the right filter is important.

Today is a happy day. Today is going to be a happy day.

Stupid annoying implicit differentiation

I have never encountered maths so annoying in my life before. I was doing stupid, stupid implicit differentiation on Khan Academy. I have wrestled with the topic for more than three days and still I cannot pass the practice session which requires you to get at least 5 correct in a row. Although this sounds very reasonable, I find it very demanding. It's not that I don't understand the topic, but everytime, it's just that minus sign, a Y that I forgot to sub in the value,  or forget that I need to sub in the values which cost me that last crucial question. Arrrrhhhhhhhhhhh quoting Sheldon "I feel like I want to peel off my own face and tear it in two and then again and again until I have a handful of Sheldon-face confetti."

Looking on the bright side, I would probably get the Persistence badge which is awarded as you "Answer a problem correctly after having some trouble with a few problems and sticking with the skill"

Right, some trouble.

Edit: Then I saw this:

I spent nearly 2.5 hour doing all the questions and still can't get it right. FML.

Edit edit: I just realised my first post in a new year is such a negative one. Oops.

Edit Edit Edit + newest update:

Yay I finally tackled implicit differentiation! It was a fine, normal day; I was bored so I went back to do the questions, did five correctly on the first try and passed.

Actually sometimes all I need is to chill.

And damn, they didn't give me the persistence badge!!!