Appreciating strangeness

I think I have been constantly trying to figure out the way I do things, the way my brain work, the way I understand, think and feel etc. etc. But I know a complete understanding of self is impossible. Most people manage to live decent lives without fully understanding themselves anyway.

I just feel that I'm weird peculiar in some ways. It seems that my thoughts are completely random. But they are interesting as well.

For example, on atoms. I have started reading a book "Quantum" by Jim Al Khalili, the author who also wrote the book "Paradox" which I enjoyed reading. In it, he described the double slit experiment, and stated as though quantum particles have "thinking of their own". Then I thought, why not? Imagine what we think as simply fundamental building blocks of nature really have conscious of their own. Consciousness is a very abstract concept and no one knows what it is. Who knows, maybe quantum particles really have consciousness! So each of them purposely act in a certain way to form the universe today.

As crazy as the previous idea, I had another wild idea a long time ago. That time, I hardly know anything about quantum physics. I was still taught that atoms are the fundamental building blocks of nature. I also know, at that time, that the universe is very, very big and humans are still trying to figure out if universe is infinite or finite and what form will it take. My wild idea is that perhaps the smallest are the biggest, that is, each atom contains an entire universe by it's own, which is then made of atoms, universes, atoms, universes, so on. Pretty cool, but quite possibly wrong, since now I know a lot more about quantum mechanics. Still, it is amazing how I could come up with such mind blowing ideas at a young age.

I appreciate weirdness because truth usually lie in unconventional places. Even if the weirdness has nothing to do with truth, like cyriak's videos, I still feel that queerness is something worth celebrated for. It produces diversity because it goes against the conventional flow. It prevents the situation described in "A Wrinkle In Time", where all people are subjected to a fixed life. Strangeness is only relative to conventions. It is a very subjective thing and is purely labeled by the majority. Therefore, being strange is actually being individualistic and being yourself. If strangeness does not exist, I would say freedom will not exist too.

I'm supposed to write about my life but I think I totally went off topic O.O Never mind I'll write about it in my next post.