Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Identity Crisis!

When I first took the Jung typology test at humanmetrics.com, I was pretty sure I'm an INTJ. Now, I'm not. In fact not long after I took the test I started pondering whether I'm an INTP, because the descriptions of an INTP suit me as well. And so I struggled to differentiate the two apart and try to identify which one I am, which proved to be the most challenging task I've ever encountered this year. I went to do the test on two other websites and one showed that I'm an INTP while the other, still INTJ. Then I went to google the difference between the two and this somewhat useful yet pretty useless website tells me that"Many INTPs test as INTJ, whereas the opposite phenomenon is less common."  and "As mentioned, it is comparatively rare for INTJs to test as INTP, although it does happen, particularly when the INTJ lacks structure in their environment." So now, I'm really really confused. Of course I tried to do research for both personality types but the contents that came out just don't make a lot of sense to me (like The dominant function of the INTP is Introverted Thinking. This function is supported closely and importantly by the auxiliary function of Extraverted Intuition. Extraverted Intuition perceives the world and sends information into the psyche, where it is processed by Introverted Thinking. An INTP who uses their Extraverted Intuition function in a diminished way is one who perceives information for the sole purpose of feeding Introverted Thinking, rather than taking everything in objectively. They are less concerned with understanding something for the sake of understanding than they are with feeding a piece of data into their Thinking function.)

Okay, let's first talk about the similarities between the two types. They are both very logical thinkers. Quoting from http://mbtitruths.blogspot.sg/2012/08/intj-vs-intp.html, "Both are likely to be socially awkward, physically clumsy, and have messy rooms. They will share the qualities of being scholarly, intellectual, reserved, nerdy, and intelligent. INTJs and INTPs will be determined when it comes to their personal goals, but unmotivated in fulfilling routine tasks." Okay yeah totally describes me, so how do we tell them apart? The website say "Thus, the only clear way to tell them apart is by examining their functions." This is where the problem comes in, because I cannot understand the functions at all. From http://intjcentral.com/intj-vs-intp/ I get this table:

INTJINTP
Cognitive Functions: Ni, Te, Fi, SeCognitive Functions: Ti, Ne, Si, Fe
Gain knowledge so it can be applied. Once the knowledge is applied to something that works, INTJs may lose interest in gaining additional knowledge on the subject.Knowledge is the end goal. It doesn’t have to be applied to be worth pursuing, and INTPs usually don’t want to bother “applying stuff” anyway.
Explores possibilities and finds potential (Ni) then interacts with the environment to realize those possibilities and potential (Te)Pieces information together and draws conclusions (Ti) then interacts with the environment to find additional possibilities (Ne)
Perfectionists of action.Perfectionists of thought.
Desire to control the world around themSpontaneous and adapt to the world around them

Just in case you don't know, i=introverted, e=extroverted, N=intuition, T=thinking, F=feeling and S=sensing. The descriptions of all these functions confuse me a great deal, and I really can't comprehend them. I try to read the other differences, and I don't really know either. For some I relate to both while for others I relate to none. I'm completely unaware of how I gain knowledge from the environment, and I also don't know whether I'm more interested to put the knowledge to use or the process of gaining the knowledge itself. I mean, I have not yet reached the age when I can even put my knowledge into use! What I know now is really pathetically little. I like theories, that's all I know. I also have no desire to control the world around me in general, but if something around me goes horribly wrong I'll be very pissed and wish for a change. I feel that there is a 50% chance of me make the change myself and another 50% prompting others to make the change. And I'll be very spontaneous if I'm in a very relaxed mood or around people whom I'm comfortable to be with. However once I'm in an unfamiliar environment I'll become very different, very rigid and hoping that my existence will not be noticed. From the blog there's a very interesting paragraph at the end, which says "If you don't have time to discover an INTx's functions, here's a quick and easy way to tell them apart. The communication styles result from their differing Thinking functions.
Woman: "Do you think I'm fat?"
INTJ: "Based on the BMI scale, your weight is above the acceptable range for your height, and you're not pregnant. So yes, you are fat."
INTP: "Well, the contours of your body resemble those of an average hippopotamus in shape and slope. So I'd say you're fat." ". Again, I feel that I'm likely to say both (although I'll try to not offend people--I'm a nice INTX) and the outcome is completely random aka depending on my mood and the person whom I'm speaking to. If I happen to have a  very friendly maths teacher (which is like the square root of -1) asking me this, I'll probably respond like an INTJ. However, if my best friend who always teased me asks, I'll respond like an INTP.

Okay sorry for making this such a long post because I'm now going to quote the descriptions of INTJ and INTP. Pardon me. I'm going to use the analytical skills that I learnt in the critical thinking and inquiry course to close read these two, hoping that I can find clues to my confusion. 

Portrait of an INTJ 


The Scientist


As an INTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically.
(don't understand the above at all)
INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfill (True) . To a somewhat lesser extent, they have similar expectations of others.(Maybe, when doing projects.)
With Introverted Intuition dominating their personality, INTJs focus their energy on observing the world, and generating ideas and possibilities. Their mind constantly gathers information and makes associations about it. They are tremendously insightful and usually are very quick to understand new ideas.(True) However, their primary interest is not understanding a concept, but rather applying that concept in a useful way.(This is the part where I'm unsure) Unlike the INTP, they do not follow an idea as far as they possibly can, seeking only to understand it fully. INTJs are driven to come to conclusions about ideas. Their need for closure and organization usually requires that they take some action.(Hmm this is the part which I disagree...I will like to fully understand an idea first because not understanding something fully bugs me. However I also like to draw conclusions because without conclusions all the thinking will be quite pointless)
INTJ's tremendous value and need for systems and organization, combined with their natural insightfulness, makes them excellent scientists. An INTJ scientist gives a gift to society by putting their ideas into a useful form for others to follow. It is not easy for the INTJ to express their internal images, insights, and abstractions. The internal form of the INTJ's thoughts and concepts is highly individualized, and is not readily translatable into a form that others will understand.(True) However, the INTJ is driven to translate their ideas into a plan or system that is usually readily explainable, rather than to do a direct translation of their thoughts. They usually don't see the value of a direct transaction, and will also have difficulty expressing their ideas, which are non-linear.(Don't quite get this part) However, their extreme respect of knowledge and intelligence will motivate them to explain themselves to another person who they feel is deserving of the effort.(True)
INTJs are natural leaders, although they usually choose to remain in the background until they see a real need to take over the lead. When they are in leadership roles, they are quite effective, because they are able to objectively see the reality of a situation, and are adaptable enough to change things which aren't working well. They are the supreme strategists - always scanning available ideas and concepts and weighing them against their current strategy, to plan for every conceivable contingency.(Really unsure about this part, I don't think I can lead at all. However I do respect competent leaders and will take on the role of a leader if the subject is something that I'm extremely confident in--only if no one wants to be the leader. And I'm not sure if I can strategize well)
INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people's thoughts or feelings. Unless their Feeling side is developed, they may have problems giving other people the level of intimacy that is needed.(quite true. I'm not really interested in other people's feelings, and also sometimes have difficulties understanding them) Unless their Sensing side is developed, they may have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary for implementing their ideas.(not very true...I do notice details)
The INTJ's interest in dealing with the world is to make decisions, express judgments, and put everything that they encounter into an understandable and rational system.(True) Consequently, they are quick to express judgments. Often they have very evolved intuitions, and are convinced that they are right about things.(no not really, sometimes I can be really uncertain) Unless they complement their intuitive understanding with a well-developed ability to express their insights, they may find themselves frequently misunderstood. In these cases, INTJs tend to blame misunderstandings on the limitations of the other party, rather than on their own difficulty in expressing themselves. This tendency may cause the INTJ to dismiss others input too quickly, and to become generally arrogant and elitist.(Totally not true I don't usually express my thinking and I'm certainly not arrogant)
INTJs are ambitious, self-confident, deliberate, long-range thinkers.(Lacking the ambition and confidence) Many INTJs end up in engineering or scientific pursuits, although some find enough challenge within the business world in areas which involve organizing and strategic planning. They dislike messiness and inefficiency, and anything that is muddled or unclear. They value clarity and efficiency, and will put enormous amounts of energy and time into consolidating their insights into structured patterns.(rather true, but my room is messy as hell. Yet I do categorize things or it will be very troublesome. And I'm neutral about inefficiency I guess...I put more value on productivity and quality than on efficiency)
Other people may have a difficult time understanding an INTJ. They may see them as aloof and reserved. ( :( )Indeed, the INTJ is not overly demonstrative of their affections, and is likely to not give as much praise or positive support as others may need or desire. That doesn't mean that he or she doesn't truly have affection or regard for others, they simply do not typically feel the need to express it.(very very true) Others may falsely perceive the INTJ as being rigid and set in their ways. Nothing could be further from the truth, because the INTJ is committed to always finding the objective best strategy to implement their ideas. The INTJ is usually quite open to hearing an alternative way of doing something.(True)
When under a great deal of stress, the INTJ may become obsessed with mindless repetitive, Sensate activities, such as over-drinking. They may also tend to become absorbed with minutia and details that they would not normally consider important to their overall goal.(True but I don't drink lol)
INTJs need to remember to express themselves sufficiently, so as to avoid difficulties with people misunderstandings. In the absence of properly developing their communication abilities, they may become abrupt and short with people, and isolationists.
INTJs have a tremendous amount of ability to accomplish great things. They have insight into the Big Picture, and are driven to synthesize their concepts into solid plans of action. Their reasoning skills gives them the means to accomplish that. INTJs are most always highly competent people, and will not have a problem meeting their career or education goals. They have the capability to make great strides in these arenas. On a personal level, the INTJ who practices tolerances and puts effort into effectively communicating their insights to others has everything in his or her power to lead a rich and rewarding life.(well hopefully)

Okay now moving on to INTP:

Portrait of an INTP 


The Thinker


As an INTP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.(Again this sounds rubbish)
INTPs live in the world of theoretical possibilities. They see everything in terms of how it could be improved, or what it could be turned into.(Not sure what it means) They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations. They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the "absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions. They typically are so strongly driven to turn problems into logical explanations, that they live much of their lives within their own heads, and may not place as much importance or value on the external world.(Hmm...) Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.
INTPs value knowledge above all else. Their minds are constantly working to generate new theories, or to prove or disprove existing theories. They approach problems and theories with enthusiasm and skepticism, ignoring existing rules and opinions and defining their own approach to the resolution. They seek patterns and logical explanations for anything that interests them.(Very true except for the constantly working. Sometimes when I venture into lalaland I think about random things and not necessarily present theories) They're usually extremely bright, and able to be objectively critical in their analysis. They love new ideas, and become very excited over abstractions and theories. They love to discuss these concepts with others.(True but cannot find anyone to listen:( ) They may seem "dreamy" and distant to others, because they spend a lot of time inside their minds musing over theories.(I'm not very distant but sometimes I tell my friends some weird theories that somehow popped up in my mind and they wonder if I'm on drugs) They hate to work on routine things - they would much prefer to build complex theoretical solutions, and leave the implementation of the system to others. They are intensely interested in theory, and will put forth tremendous amounts of time and energy into finding a solution to a problem with has piqued their interest.(Very true. I hate troubleshooting (esp. for maths), and repetitive technical stuff)
INTPs do not like to lead or control people. They're very tolerant and flexible in most situations, unless one of their firmly held beliefs has been violated or challenged, in which case they may take a very rigid stance. The INTP is likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people. On the other hand, the INTP is very self-confident and gregarious around people they know well, or when discussing theories which they fully understand.(This is so so so so so true)
The INTP has no understanding or value for decisions made on the basis of personal subjectivity or feelings. They strive constantly to achieve logical conclusions to problems, and don't understand the importance or relevance of applying subjective emotional considerations to decisions. For this reason, INTPs are usually not in-tune with how people are feeling, and are not naturally well-equiped to meet the emotional needs of others.(very true)
The INTP may have a problem with self-aggrandizement and social rebellion, which will interfere with their creative potential.(don't quite understand but I think it sounds quite true)  Since their Feeling side is their least developed trait, the INTP may have difficulty giving the warmth and support that is sometimes necessary in intimate relationships. If the INTP doesn't realize the value of attending to other people's feelings, he or she may become overly critical and sarcastic with others. If the INTP is not able to find a place for themself which supports the use of their strongest abilities, they may become generally negative and cynical. If the INTP has not developed their Sensing side sufficiently, they may become unaware of their environment, and exhibit weakness in performing maintenance-type tasks, such as bill-paying and dressing appropriately.(I don't think I have this problem)
For the INTP, it is extremely important that ideas and facts are expressed correctly and succinctly. They are likely to express themselves in what they believe to be absolute truths. Sometimes, their well thought-out understanding of an idea is not easily understandable by others, but the INTP is not naturally likely to tailor the truth so as to explain it in an understandable way to others. The INTP may be prone to abandoning a project once they have figured it out, moving on to the next thing. It's important that the INTP place importance on expressing their developed theories in understandable ways. In the end, an amazing discovery means nothing if you are the only person who understands it.(very true)
The INTP is usually very independent, unconventional, and original. They are not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security. They usually have complex characters, and may tend to be restless and temperamental. They are strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows them to analyze ideas in new ways.(True) Consequently, a lot of scientific breakthroughs in the world have been made by the INTP.
The INTP is at his best when he can work on his theories independently. When given an environment which supports his creative genius and possible eccentricity, the INTP can accomplish truly remarkable things. These are the pioneers of new thoughts in our society.

Okay now back to my blog post, after this analysis I think I'm more inclined towards INTP. I'm not as leader-like and mean as an INTJ, but also not as taken away from reality as an INTP. I do take note of practicality of things like INTJ and is also unconventional and creative as INTP. Which type am I? I feel that taking the INTJ approach to life is easier--order, efficiency, clarity, but the INTP approach is more interesting, yet harder. Sometimes when I think too much my head will explode and I will feel feverish for the entire day and things like that.And sometimes when you get very confused and can't grasp an idea no matter what is a truly depressing thing. For me at least. So am I an INTP or an INTJ? I really don't know. And thinking about this is making my head explode. Ahh I hate this feeling why can't I just lead a normal life and don't think so much. Really sorry for this long post. But I think people won't really care about the problems of me anyway...so thank you if you actually read all these crap. As a reward I'm going to put a picture in the end.

 

Yeah I like sheeps.

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